Optimism: a followup entry on labels

I actually thought to look it up this evening after thinking about it all day.

I don't buy into definition #1 at all, not being a doctrinaire, and disagreeing with the idea that this is the best possible world. I mean come on, really? And definition #2, well I have a little problem with that because in essence it sounds like spin control, which i totally detest. So this leaves me in a dilemma: if optimist isn't the right word then what is?

This lead me on a search in the dictionary, nerdy I know but whatcha gonna do? Romantic? Idealistic? Defined, these seem too out of touch with reality to describe how I normally feel/think, though I do gladly have and admit such tendancies. So I look in the other direction: Pragmatic? No, clearly not because of this entry: "...the exclusion of intellectual or artistic matters..." Practical? Feels warmer, but a tad exclusive of the impractical parts of me. More words, more labels, none of them just right.

So.

Here is what I think: I don't know that I can call myself any one thing or say that I have any dominant point of view, other than on balance I perceive myself to be more positive than negative. I think to define oneself or current point of view is maybe an act of immediacy, at least with me it is. Dependent on mood and circumstance and physical environment. Maybe that makes me a chameleon of sorts, just by nature. Besides, who needs a label anyways? We're all people, subject to change. And you never know what's going on inside of folks at any given moment.

What I do know is this: if I'm honest with myself, I'll admit the world can be a hard place. There is so much evidence to that fact. Bad things happen, people are hurting. Good people who don't deserve it suffer, people who should be condemned to a personal hell many times over seem to thrive. There's no making sense of it. Trying to deny or ignore these facts do no good and may contribute to making things worse. The question is how to avoid being consumed by the darkness that swirls around us at times?

Maybe a way is to look for those little glimmers of light that surround us every day in the normal, routine and mundane; find enough of those, and maybe it would help bring those scales a little closer to balance. None of these will fix anything, most won't make much of the bad and hard stuff better, but maybe seeing a little light will make it easier to keep going in the dark. So, these are the little lights I found today, when I stopped and thought about them:

1) Sunshine and 65 degrees unexpected in early March
2) House wrens nesting in the eves
3) The first crocuses of spring, and daffodils soon to follow
4) A dog sharing her bed with one of the cats
5) Good coffee, right when you need it most
6) Receiving email from a loved one
7) Quiet in the late afternoon
8) Screech owls at night defying the logging that daily reduces their neighborhood
9) New calves in the pasture down below, all wobbly and funny
10) Deer running across the llama pasture almost daily
11) Seeing just the very tip of hyacinths poking out of the ground
12) The promise of Asiatic lilies doing the same
13) Spontaneous chats with a dear friend
14) A truck that starts, runs and stops like it’s supposed to
15) iPod with new music, and a half dozen NPR shows waiting to be heard
16) New headphones for iPod, the first good ones ever
17) Silly projects done with distant friends via the ‘net
18) Vanilla scented candles
19) Old photos found in a barn, stored in the attic and for some reason pulled out and viewed
20) Netflix in the mailbox with good movieage
21) Slow, lazy acoustic guitar noodling
22) Sharp pencil and a fresh Moleskine
23) Good books in progress
24) Perfectly worn in shoes and a walk in the afternoon sun with a bouncing dog
25) Tinkling windchimes
26) The promise of sleep after a sleepless night and a busy workday
27) Green tea, made perfect
28) Kielbasa fried with onions, green pepper and garlic, hot mustard on the side, and a baked potato with sour cream and chives for supper
29) Eating from handmade plates and bowls
30) Scalding hot shower with Bay Rum soap
31) A good sumi brush, and thick water colors on heavy paper
32) Old laptop with new battery
33) Blogging: reading and writing
34) New Billy Collins poetry
35) Old Neil Young tunes
36) Clay at the perfect working consistency
37) Old sweats (shirts and pants)
38) Knowing that soon it will be warm enough to live in cargo shorts and Birkenstocks and old black tshirts
39) Good pillows
40) Impossible and totally useless projects that are exciting and doing them just because you can and want to
41) Love
42) Mom’s fudge
43) Sipping good tequila
44) Naps
45) Merriam-Webster online dictionary
46) Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge ice cream
47) Bright red cardinals at the bird feeder
48) Sunset over the ridge, with a crescent moon rising in the twilight
49) Fuzzy slippers
50) A big soft chair and footstool
51) Slowing down to near stop, and dozing off for a bit
52) The dim light at the crack of dawn and another chance to get it right

Here's hoping your list is longer than mine.